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Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejections was too hard to handle? Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything that you had but the other person was too afraid to let you? Have you ever wondered which hurts the most; to say something and wished you didn’t or say nothing and wished you had? Didn’t all these ‘have you ever‘ made you feel so miserable and crushed inside? Well, I did.

I used to have a best friend whom I love and care for a lot. But for some reasons (which I have yet to know), she didn’t give me the chance to do so. Maybe she was too afraid to let me into her life. But certainly, I was hurt because she didn’t let me care for her the way I wanted to. I felt that she didn’t trust me at all because she never shared her portion of life while I always shared mine. Because of that, I stayed walled up eversince. I was too afraid to care for others for fear that they will not care as much or even at all.

Have you ever heard of the phrase: Don’t be afraid to tell someone you love them because if you do, they might break your heart but if you don’t, you might break theirs? Being selfish, I rather break their hearts than letting them break mine. Wouldn’t it be hurtful if they don’t appreciate your love and worse still, take you for granted? Why risk hurting your own feelings? Do I sound self-centered? Well, maybe I have became that way ever since my best friend broke my heart. But still, you can’t deny some relevant pointers I have brought up here, right?

I can’t deny the fact that what took place between me and my best friend has a great impact on me. Afterall the friendship we shared has involved our feelings and emotions. But then again, it’s what made me, the changed person I am today. Who would have guess that a broken friendship is all that’s needed to turn me into a more caring person? Who would have guess that the hurt and pain I went through will teach me more about life? Sometimes, I believe that every cloud has a silver lining. For every tough time that I go through, I learn something new and grow a little stronger.

Friends do come and go, and people do change and grow old. Appreciate the people around you and cherish your friends as much as they cherish you. Tell them you love them even though they might break your heart. Continue to care for them even though they would not let you in. Always be there for them even though they don’t want you to. Because I believe that one day, they will be able to see the true friend in you, the friend that has always been there all the time. At least, you do your part as a friend even though they didn’t do theirs.

So don’t be like me. Don’t be afraid of getting hurt if you express yourself. Don’t let the disappointments you once had stop you from telling others you love them. So what if they break your heart? So what if they say they don’t love you? So what if they tell you that you mean nothing to them? It’s letting them know that you love them that’s important. It’s letting them know that you are there for them always that’s making the difference.

And now, as for me and my best friend, she doesn’t talk to me anymore. I have lost this friendship. But I’m still blessing her through the people around us and will always be there for her whenever she needed me because I always believe that once a friend, always a friend.

Originally written by Gina Yap Lai Yoong © 2005

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